The Great Sprint of 2009

The Great Sprint of 2009 was possibly the most prodigious accomplishment of that summer.

Background Story
So during the summer of 2009 Matt_and_Kyle began working on Act I. The days grew long and often consisted of sweltering heat waves that came through the north west. More often than not about 2 to 3* gallons of water was consumed by the creators daily, whislt game-making. Although, prolonged periods of alottment were spent sitting in one room, so there needed to be an activity that split up those stretches. The main enterprise would be to run out to Berthusen Park and throw around a flying saucer. Days turned into weeks and weeks into eons. Casting the frisbee back and forth became a half-hourly routine. Oh how it would glide so effortlessly through the mild summer air. Like a piece of fiber enriched shit out of a sweaty asscrack. It seemed as if time would never pass.

The Great Sprint
One lucent afternoon in the northernmost county of the 48th state of the US of A, the 2 creators were making nothing short of sheer progress on thier first act of what would become the most hyped indie release of the decade. The temperature was just a hair under 105 degrees farenheit. It felt like a break would be cardinal. So they would depart from thier usual quarters into the outside world. As if it was second nature, they began to heave the disc to each other. After 4 or 5 minutes a slight eastern breeze brushed across Matts face. He knew that the calm air would last long. He thought that he could make one last accurate throw before heading inside to rehydrate. Powerfully, he winds his arm back and releases. From the moment it had left his palm he knew it wasnt going to be catchable. Sorrow and disdain quickly overcame him as he witnessed the disc fly away from his peer, mentor, friend, colleague, and master. How could this be? How can something with such grace and structure be torn into tiny pieces?? As the disc seemed to get further and further from its target, Matt had been casted upon by an unkown entity with the worst sense of delinquency & malfeasence. Just as he was going to turn around in shame and derision, what appeared to be a human was moving at abnormal speeds. He focused in on the figure... "Could it be? Can it really be Kyle?" He pondered. He noticed the toned delts and at that moment he knew it couldnt be anyone else. he watched eagerly as the disc began its descent. Kyle still had at least the length of a football field to reach it. It seemed impossible. It seemed insurmountable. A distance of 100 feet quickly became 50. Then 25. Such speed has never been recorded by a human on land. and just a nanometer from touching the ground, Kyle reaches out.

Flesh met plastic.

All those X Stretch videos had paid off. Could this be true? Can someone have really covered 100 yards in seconds? Who knows, all i know, is that i saw it, i experienced, the great sprint, of 2009.

Fallout, Repercussions, & Hindsight
After the feat that marked the turning of a new chapter in both of their lives, word got out. It is believed to have been through an anonymous leak to the local media. An eyewitness that day had recalled seeing a black van burn out of the neighborhood shortly after the catch. They thought nothing of it at the time. Life went on, and they finally finished the first act in May of 2009. An online cult quickly blossomed into a full fledged community with fandom unlike anything in recent years. A short article was written in the local tribune about alleged land speed records within the area. Kyle & Matt were unaware that the news had somehow leaked and brushed it under the rug for the time being. This is where they went horribly wrong.

Local news vans and other news outlets began to flood the streets of the small rural neighborhood. They demanded answers. But Kyle persisted on keeping his mouth shut tighter than a butthole fleshlight. After a week of unrest, the community became impatient. The town was on the brink of untamed riots and disaster. The townfolk surrounded his place of residence and started to tear through the strong birch walls that were crafted by the kinds of Richard Walter & his fellow masons. Hours passed, and his house was breached. There was nothing he could do.They drug him outside, and a Local CEO had ordered him to be flown to Guantanamo for further research.

A new investigation would begin by Dr. Omar Grimsdottir, a leading scientist in many fields. Omar knew that the research could pose problems, because if the need for surgery were to arise, operating on a subject with less than 4% bodyfat can be jeopardous. The first move was to make incisions under each pectoral gland to search for any unknown chromosomes that may be affecting the host.